Noob shmoob!!!

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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Neuk wrote:
ShaunTdi wrote:Finally I am no longer a newb. Was wondering when I would be accepted in this here toylet forrim?
Have you filled out the "Toylet Forrim Acceptance Forms - Version 1.00987601" in triplicate yet? If not I suggest you get on it, as they take a while being 379 pages each, with your signature required on every page as well as a thumb print in your own blood needed on pages 47, 98, 217 and 373 nevermind the fact that you need to courier the red copy over to the "International Society for the Protection of Forrims from Trolls and Spammers Society" based in Warsaw, Poland...
All sorted Nic Nax. Spoke to Olge the Toylet Forrim administrator whom helped me complete the final three pages. Second to last being the sperm count test, she was very thorough and seem rather please with herself. She informed me that you would grant me my magic wand once I complete the initiatory lapdance you insist on.

When can I fetch my wand?
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Eternal Nexbie Post Whore FTMFW YO!!!!!!
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by 1.8R_andre »

Geluk jou blerrie naai pot.
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

1.8R_andre wrote:Geluk jou blerrie naai pot.
Baie Dankie oom
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Neuk »

ShaunTdi wrote:
Neuk wrote:
ShaunTdi wrote:Finally I am no longer a newb. Was wondering when I would be accepted in this here toylet forrim?
Have you filled out the "Toylet Forrim Acceptance Forms - Version 1.00987601" in triplicate yet? If not I suggest you get on it, as they take a while being 379 pages each, with your signature required on every page as well as a thumb print in your own blood needed on pages 47, 98, 217 and 373 nevermind the fact that you need to courier the red copy over to the "International Society for the Protection of Forrims from Trolls and Spammers Society" based in Warsaw, Poland...
All sorted Nic Nax. Spoke to Olge the Toylet Forrim administrator whom helped me complete the final three pages. Second to last being the sperm count test, she was very thorough and seem rather please with herself. She informed me that you would grant me my magic wand once I complete the initiatory lapdance you insist on.

When can I fetch my wand?
Great Olge is a darling, and quite a look the last time I saw her back in '07 despite her 47 years on this planet :wink: Was she gentle during the sperm count test? She was a little rough with me, but then I like it that way and she seemd to enjoy herself as well, leading to my test being one of the best they have seen, only being beaten by Pitzi, who is, in fact a horse :wink: Not like a minotaur though....

I am back in Johannesburg on Tuesday evening, so will have my PA check my diary and free up some time for my obligatory lapdance so we can get you your wand as soon as possible :wink:
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by lawrence »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Neuk wrote: Great Olge is a darling, and quite a look the last tiem I saw her back in '07 despite her 47 years on this planet :wink: Was she gentle during the sperm count test? She was a little rough with me, but then I like it that way and she seemd to enjoy herself as well, leading to my test being one of the best they have seen, only being beaten by Pitzi, who is, in fact a horse :wink: Not like a minotaur though....

I am back in Johannesburg on Tuesday evening, so will have my PA check my diary and free up some time for my obligatory lapdance so we can get you your wand as soon as possible :wink:
Yes Olge was very gentle and a little hessitant too. I think its because she was not sure how to handle my erectile dysfunction but once I showed her she got the hang of it, no pun intended, and happily continued what she does best. She did ask me to stay a while longer but I told her I had to head home to practice my dance routine on my Hello Kitty teddy bear so I could get it just right.

Looking forward to hearing from your PA..
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by 1.8R_andre »

ShaunTdi wrote:
Neuk wrote: Great Olge is a darling, and quite a look the last tiem I saw her back in '07 despite her 47 years on this planet :wink: Was she gentle during the sperm count test? She was a little rough with me, but then I like it that way and she seemd to enjoy herself as well, leading to my test being one of the best they have seen, only being beaten by Pitzi, who is, in fact a horse :wink: Not like a minotaur though....

I am back in Johannesburg on Tuesday evening, so will have my PA check my diary and free up some time for my obligatory lapdance so we can get you your wand as soon as possible :wink:
Yes Olge was very gentle and a little hessitant too. I think its because she was not sure how to handle my erectile dysfunction but once I showed her she got the hang of it, no pun intended, and happily continued what she does best. She did ask me to stay a while longer but I told her I had to head home to practice my dance routine on my Hello Kitty teddy bear so I could get it just right.

Nic se PA is een van daai fokking groot boere met n baard and a veldfokus hemp. He wears a SHORT rugby pant and 3inches of his .44 magnum's barrel hangs out from under his pant.

Looking forward to hearing from your PA..
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Neuk »

ShaunTdi wrote:
Neuk wrote: Great Olge is a darling, and quite a look the last tiem I saw her back in '07 despite her 47 years on this planet :wink: Was she gentle during the sperm count test? She was a little rough with me, but then I like it that way and she seemd to enjoy herself as well, leading to my test being one of the best they have seen, only being beaten by Pitzi, who is, in fact a horse :wink: Not like a minotaur though....

I am back in Johannesburg on Tuesday evening, so will have my PA check my diary and free up some time for my obligatory lapdance so we can get you your wand as soon as possible :wink:
Yes Olge was very gentle and a little hessitant too. I think its because she was not sure how to handle my erectile dysfunction but once I showed her she got the hang of it, no pun intended, and happily continued what she does best. She did ask me to stay a while longer but I told her I had to head home to practice my dance routine on my Hello Kitty teddy bear so I could get it just right.

Looking forward to hearing from your PA..
Good to hear she was gentle with you, expecially with your "special" needs :wink: I am sure she is getting better and better at handling these types of situations though, as the likes of GTIPOWER tried to go through the same process and he experienced similar issues, but Olge found some other issues as well, I remember her muttering something along the lines of TSD's or something and having to wash her hands using thermo-nuclear made industrial grade strength sea scum scrubber. And wow, you have a hello kitty teddy bear :crazy: I always wanted one of those, but my parents bought me a friggin' GI Joe instead :sad: Living the dream, living the dream...
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Neuk »

1.8R_andre wrote:
ShaunTdi wrote:
Neuk wrote: Great Olge is a darling, and quite a look the last tiem I saw her back in '07 despite her 47 years on this planet :wink: Was she gentle during the sperm count test? She was a little rough with me, but then I like it that way and she seemd to enjoy herself as well, leading to my test being one of the best they have seen, only being beaten by Pitzi, who is, in fact a horse :wink: Not like a minotaur though....

I am back in Johannesburg on Tuesday evening, so will have my PA check my diary and free up some time for my obligatory lapdance so we can get you your wand as soon as possible :wink:
Yes Olge was very gentle and a little hessitant too. I think its because she was not sure how to handle my erectile dysfunction but once I showed her she got the hang of it, no pun intended, and happily continued what she does best. She did ask me to stay a while longer but I told her I had to head home to practice my dance routine on my Hello Kitty teddy bear so I could get it just right.

Nic se PA is een van daai fokking groot boere met n baard and a veldfokus hemp. He wears a SHORT rugby pant and 3inches of his .44 magnum's barrel hangs out from under his pant.

Looking forward to hearing from your PA..
Wat Die Fokken Duiwel Snort Jy :crazy:
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Neuk wrote: Good to hear she was gentle with you, expecially with your "special" needs :wink: I am sure she is getting better and better at handling these types of situations though, as the likes of GTIPOWER tried to go through the same process and he experienced similar issues, but Olge found some other issues as well, I remember her muttering something along the lines of TSD's or something and having to wash her hands using thermo-nuclear made industrial grade strength sea scum scrubber. And wow, you have a hello kitty teddy bear :crazy: I always wanted one of those, but my parents bought me a friggin' GI Joe instead :sad: Living the dream, living the dream...
Ya she mention him before we even began. She seems to have a phobia now of dirty things because of GTIPOWER and continued topping up the soapy lotion in her hands. Which as you can imagine did not bother me untill she accidentally squeezed the tube of Thermo-nuclear made industrial grade strength sea scum scrubber instead of the Dove Lotion bottle into her hand. Luckily she realised her mistake and quickly go the Ultramel Custard out the fridge.

You are more than welcome to borrow my Hello Kitty but I'll need to get it stream cleaned for obvoius reasons. Maybe we can have a trade of the wand for my Hello Kitty??
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by magsta »

:lol: :lol:
Classic stuff Shaun and Nic.
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Neuk »

ShaunTdi wrote:
Neuk wrote: Good to hear she was gentle with you, expecially with your "special" needs :wink: I am sure she is getting better and better at handling these types of situations though, as the likes of GTIPOWER tried to go through the same process and he experienced similar issues, but Olge found some other issues as well, I remember her muttering something along the lines of TSD's or something and having to wash her hands using thermo-nuclear made industrial grade strength sea scum scrubber. And wow, you have a hello kitty teddy bear :crazy: I always wanted one of those, but my parents bought me a friggin' GI Joe instead :sad: Living the dream, living the dream...
Ya she mention him before we even began. She seems to have a phobia now of dirty things because of GTIPOWER and continued topping up the soapy lotion in her hands. Which as you can imagine did not bother me untill she accidentally squeezed the tube of Thermo-nuclear made industrial grade strength sea scum scrubber instead of the Dove Lotion bottle into her hand. Luckily she realised her mistake and quickly go the Ultramel Custard out the fridge.

You are more than welcome to borrow my Hello Kitty but I'll need to get it stream cleaned for obvoius reasons. Maybe we can have a trade of the wand for my Hello Kitty??

You were lucky then, I went long before GTIPOWER, and as such I never heard the story so was very, very surprised and quite taken aback when she decided to use two latex gloves, as I am more akin to my lady friends just using the normal one pair, but on two different hands, not just the ight hand like Olge did. Aaaah - The good old Ultramel Custard trick, that I in fact learnt from Maldino a few years back, which has been proven time and time again to soothe and heal burns and stains around the crotch area. Maldino can attest to this as his now wife used to regularily beat him which left him rather shy and in pain, but he seems much better now...

I would love to borrow your hello kitty, but I don't understand what stream cleaning is? Is it similar to the methods used by New Xealand farmers when cleaning sheep infected with teh deadly, Aussie sheila virus where they are placed in a traditional cattle dip, but a high pressure stream of liquidised kopi lewak is used as a disinfectant as well as slight sedative which comes in handy when the sheep are finally clean...

Oh, on a side note, did Olge tell you the story about magsta, and his wierd fascination with having pictures of Leonardo Di Caprio when he did his sperm count test?
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Neuk wrote:You were lucky then, I went long before GTIPOWER, and as such I never heard the story so was very, very surprised and quite taken aback when she decided to use two latex gloves, as I am more akin to my lady friends just using the normal one pair, but on two different hands, not just the ight hand like Olge did. Aaaah - The good old Ultramel Custard trick, that I in fact learnt from Maldino a few years back, which has been proven time and time again to soothe and heal burns and stains around the crotch area. Maldino can attest to this as his now wife used to regularily beat him which left him rather shy and in pain, but he seems much better now...

I would love to borrow your hello kitty, but I don't understand what stream cleaning is? Is it similar to the methods used by New Xealand farmers when cleaning sheep infected with teh deadly, Aussie sheila virus where they are placed in a traditional cattle dip, but a high pressure stream of liquidised kopi lewak is used as a disinfectant as well as slight sedative which comes in handy when the sheep are finally clean...

Oh, on a side note, did Olge tell you the story about magsta, and his wierd fascination with having pictures of Leonardo Di Caprio when he did his sperm count test?
The Ultramel Custard trick is incredible. So soothing and the best part is when she takes is off. As you are well aware her 50 year old teeth have been removed and well you now the rest!

The cleaning processthat I follow is a very sipple one in that it Kitty is placed in the pressurised steam washing machine similar to the design of a pressure cooker but as the pressure builds the hot steam forces the muggy dirty grime that has built up over my teen years through a pressure vein and into a vacuum sealed bio-un-degradable bag.

Now that you mention it she did say something about Magsta or Maggie as he like her to call him. She told me he likes the procedure to by performed will he is in a kneeling cow position and enjoys mooing like a female cow on heat. She was rather disturbed by this and tried to finish him as soon as posible but he infact still busy with the test as we speak.
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Sbhora »

magsta wrote::lol: :lol:
Classic stuff Shaun and Nic.
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Coroner »

Neuk wrote:
ShaunTdi wrote:Finally I am no longer a newb. Was wondering when I would be accepted in this here toylet forrim?
Have you filled out the "Toylet Forrim Acceptance Forms - Version 1.00987601" in triplicate yet? If not I suggest you get on it, as they take a while being 379 pages each, with your signature required on every page as well as a thumb print in your own blood needed on pages 47, 98, 217 and 373 nevermind the fact that you need to courier the red copy over to the "International Society for the Protection of Forrims from Trolls and Spammers Society" based in Warsaw, Poland...
And dont forget the peanuts...
Speed is money......how fast do you want to go?

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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Neuk »

ShaunTdi wrote:The Ultramel Custard trick is incredible. So soothing and the best part is when she takes is off. As you are well aware her 50 year old teeth have been removed and well you now the rest!

The cleaning processthat I follow is a very sipple one in that it Kitty is placed in the pressurised steam washing machine similar to the design of a pressure cooker but as the pressure builds the hot steam forces the muggy dirty grime that has built up over my teen years through a pressure vein and into a vacuum sealed bio-un-degradable bag.

Now that you mention it she did say something about Magsta or Maggie as he like her to call him. She told me he likes the procedure to by performed will he is in a kneeling cow position and enjoys mooing like a female cow on heat. She was rather disturbed by this and tried to finish him as soon as posible but he infact still busy with the test as we speak.
As long as they use the plain or Vanilla flavours, the banana is just taking the piss and chocolate is too much of a tease :crazy: And 50 year old teeth, or shall we say the lack of them, as they have been replaced by bionic implants that can be removed on req,uest are, well, um, yes...

Aaaaah - makes more sense now, as you cleaning off far more simple dirt and potentially do not need to sterlilise as much as when infected with the Aussie sheila virus :wink: I wonder if this same cleaning technique could be used on Fes anal beaded seat covers, there is some real muck and dirt in them, especially after I lent the car to sheer driving pleasure for a weekend and he used it to transport slappers he picked up in Rosebank along Oxford Road...

I never realised maggie was still busy with his test, mine was over all too quickly in my opinion, probably why I don't have any Catt spawn running around and Maggie has a Leo look-a-like already....
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by Neuk »

Coroner wrote:
Neuk wrote:
ShaunTdi wrote:Finally I am no longer a newb. Was wondering when I would be accepted in this here toylet forrim?
Have you filled out the "Toylet Forrim Acceptance Forms - Version 1.00987601" in triplicate yet? If not I suggest you get on it, as they take a while being 379 pages each, with your signature required on every page as well as a thumb print in your own blood needed on pages 47, 98, 217 and 373 nevermind the fact that you need to courier the red copy over to the "International Society for the Protection of Forrims from Trolls and Spammers Society" based in Warsaw, Poland...
And dont forget the peanuts...
Peanuts are a seperate issue to this form, which is between the forrim user and the "International Society for the Protection of Forrims from Trolls and Spammers Society", whereas the peanuts is a private matter between myself and the forrim user...
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Neuk wrote:As long as they use the plain or Vanilla flavours, the banana is just taking the piss and chocolate is too much of a tease :crazy: And 50 year old teeth, or shall we say the lack of them, as they have been replaced by bionic implants that can be removed on req,uest are, well, um, yes...

Aaaaah - makes more sense now, as you cleaning off far more simple dirt and potentially do not need to sterlilise as much as when infected with the Aussie sheila virus :wink: I wonder if this same cleaning technique could be used on Fes anal beaded seat covers, there is some real muck and dirt in them, especially after I lent the car to sheer driving pleasure for a weekend and he used it to transport slappers he picked up in Rosebank along Oxford Road...

I never realised maggie was still busy with his test, mine was over all too quickly in my opinion, probably why I don't have any Catt spawn running around and Maggie has a Leo look-a-like already....
I fear the debris left over by the slappers will require the following; You will be required you to built a 20ft long rocket capable of launching itself to teh deepest depth of outer space, you will then need to place the anal beaded seat covers in an airtight kevlar bag, attach it to the rocket and wave it goodbye as I feel these will never be the same again. Or you will have to just live with teh fact that they will smell like anal crabs forever and ever.

I cant really comment how long mine took as along side my erectile dysfuntion I also have a premature problem caused by excessive use of my grandmothers vacuum cleaner.
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Re: Noob shmoob!!!

Post by ShaunTdi »

Coroner wrote:And dont forget the peanuts...
Dont let me start on the processes and deeds needed to be done to Neuk in order to be added on the Peanut Ditribution Agency.

Lets just say rimming isnt only for Wheel Whores
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